


Don't Leave

by extrinsic



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: 4x12 coda, Hospital, Insecure Ian, M/M, bipolar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-13
Updated: 2014-05-13
Packaged: 2018-01-24 15:45:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1610567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/extrinsic/pseuds/extrinsic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>‘Please don’t leave me’<br/>Ian’s voice sounds small and wounded; he stares down into his lap and pulls anxiously at his fingers, Mickey uses one hand to tip Ian’s chin up so he’s looking at him in the eyes, takes both if Ian’s hands in his own and entwines their fingers together.<br/>‘you know I’m no good at talking about feelings and shit, but what I do know is that what you and I have is good and I don’t want to lose it. I’m not gonna fucking leave you Ian, after everything we’ve been through you have to know I’m gonna stick around’</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Leave

Ian had been in the hospital for just over a week and he was already climbing the walls. The cold building, full of resonating screams, does little to alleviate Ian’s nagging insecurity that he is stuck here forever. One fleeting glance at the bandages that adorn both of his wrists callously reminds him that a nut house is where he belongs. He’s unhinged. He’s Monica. He’s worse than Monica. He doesn’t deserve to get out. He’d slit his wrists in front of the only person he’s ever been in love with, a person who was beginning to return those feelings. What a fucking idiot he is, Ian would be surprised if Mickey wanted anything to do with him after this shit show. Mickey Milkovich doesn’t do complicated. Mickey Milkovich doesn’t do love. Ian knew though, how much more he was to Mickey than a warm mouth, crashing out of the closet in front of half the homophobic shitheads in Chicago isn’t the act of a man in a purely sexual relationship. 

Ian is allowed visitors and everyone he loves is there: Fiona, Lip, Carl, Debbie, Liam, Kev, Vee and Mandy. Someone is very obviously missing and Ian feels his gut twist with dread. He doesn’t ask about Mickey but his anxiety must be written all over his face as Mandy remarks ‘Mickey did say he’d be here Ian, he’s probably just been held up’ but she doesn’t sound convinced.

Despite this, Ian is, for the first time in a long time, mildly happy. Whatever shit they’re pumping into him must be working because his smile is genuine, his laugh warm and his throat thick with emotion when he realises visiting hours are nearly over. 

The sound of heavy feet and panting gets louder and louder until Mickey Milkovich can be heard demanding impatiently ‘where the fuck is Ian Gallagher’s room?’  
He arrives in the doorway, red faced and out of breath.  
‘About fucking time’ Mandy scolds  
‘My whore wife thinks it’s my responsibility to babysit her little brat’ says Mickey, almost apologetically which is strange. Mickey Milkovich never apologises. 

There’s a brief silence until Fiona clears her throat and declares ‘Alright well we were just leaving’, everyone gives Ian a hug, promising to return the next time he is allowed visitors, and suddenly he’s alone with Mickey.

‘This nuthouse fucking stinks’ Mickey says, earning a dry and humourless laugh from Ian.

‘You should try being cooped up in her 24/7 I’m going crazy’ I am crazy.

Ian feels Mickey’s weight on the bed as he sits down next to him.  
‘How long until you’re allowed out of this shithole?’

‘I dunno, couple weeks maybe’

‘That sucks man’

The silence is thick and the unspoken words are palpable.

‘I’m sorry’ Ian blurts out suddenly  
Mickey is visibly taken aback and replies ‘for what’  
‘For trying to kill myself, you deserved more than that Mick’

‘Shut the fuck up Gallagher you and me both know you would’ve done that if it weren’t for that bipolar shit’

Ian doesn’t realise he’s crying until he feels the wetness drip onto his hands.  
‘Hey Ian, it’s ok man, we’ll get through this, I forgive you’

‘Please don’t leave me’  
Ian’s voice sounds small and wounded; he stares down into his lap and pulls anxiously at his fingers, Mickey uses one hand to tip Ian’s chin up so he’s looking at him in the eyes, takes both if Ian’s hands in his own and entwines their fingers together.  
‘you know I’m no good at talking about feelings and shit, but what I do know is that what you and I have is good and I don’t want to lose it. I’m not gonna fucking leave you Ian, after everything we’ve been through you have to know I’m gonna stick around’ 

‘but why Mick, I’m a fucking mess’ he tries to laugh but the sound is more of a sob.

‘fuck Ian, you know why’ as if by way of answer Mickey takes Ian’s face in his hands and gently presses their lips together. This kiss is different to the club which was hot and urgent, instead they take their time, memorising each other’s lips and drinking in each other’s scents. Ian pulls away, trying to catch his breath and Mickey brings their foreheads together, they stay like that for several minutes.

‘when you get out of here we’ll get our own place ok, I have some rub n tug money saved and we’ll get a shitty little apartment near the alibi, there’s shit water pressure and lumpy beds but at least there’s no fucking babies, wives and psychotic fathers’

‘I kind of fucking love you Mick’

And Mickey doesn’t tell Ian to ‘stop being such a fag’, instead he crashes their lips together again more urgently, and Ian knows this is Mickey’s ‘I fucking love you too’.


End file.
